Frequently Asked Questions
As a Sexologist, I am a holistic practitioner in the field of sexual well-being. I am concerned with what you are doing sexually and how you feel about what you are doing sexually. The cornerstone of my work is to help you master your inner game for sex so that you’ll feel delighted with the sex you are creating.
Ultimately, we sort out who you really are, what you genuinely want and how to sexually show up for yourself and your partner.
Master my psychological Inner Game?
Capable people try to change every day, and every day VERY CAPABLE people fail. Turns out, there’s more going on in your head than and willpower and knowledge can handle. Willpower and knowledge alone are MINOR TOOLS compared to what you really need to make a change that lasts.
I help individuals and couples become completely confident in how to express their sexuality by FIRST mastering their inner game of sex.
As an EFT practitioner we collaboratively remove subconscious beliefs that hijack your best efforts to change. Post doctorate I spent a year mapping out the “voices of pain” that I hear from clients and their associated “wells of pain” from which they come. Getting you to the well of your pain, extracting the subconscious beliefs that reside there (like the cancers that they are), and finding the vows you made to yourself to survive is not for the faint of heart. You need “a friend and a flashlight” to get you through the pain you’re in and out the other side to a psychologically safer place. The human psyche has hidden areas with hidden beliefs that even the most skilled individual cannot get to alone. That’s why I consider it Psychological Surgery. They must be found and removed for your behavior to make lasting change.
I use a number of therapeutic techniques like visualization, different energetic techniques and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or Tapping. Brain, emotional, and psychological technology has surpassed the typical Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which has long been the gold standard of care in traditional therapy. There’s so MUCH MORE you can achieve in LESS TIME.
So, what’s tapping?
It’s a mind-body-emotional tool for mind-body-emotional conditions.
As a human being if you are thinking of something, especially if you are upset about something, you are having a very real mind-body-emotional experience whether you realize it or not. Tapping is the only known Acupressure mind-body-emotional tool clinically proven to turn off (deactivate) the fight or flight response (also called the stress response) in our brain. People used to say “I’m just wired that way” and they were right. But that’s simply not true anymore, we CAN rewire our brains and EFT is the most efficient way to achieve it. Stop and think that…
We now know enough about the brain, that if you can get to the hidden belief(s) that are tripping you up, you can rewire your brain – creating real change. Getting to the hidden beliefs is an art in and of itself, psychological surgery, but once they are found EFT/Tapping gives the individual the ability to create REAL RESULTS by rewiring NEW beliefs for the NEW behaviors they want to have.
Related to sexual behaviors, many people feel BROKEN, SHUT DOWN or have SUPPRESSED their sexuality in order to survive. Maybe it was their young past, a specific event, a lack of sexual education, or their poor relationship or marriage of today. “Survival” of the circumstances that shut people down vary, but SHAME closes and locks the door for them – most never find a way out.
Additionally, EFT saves time! The information I would like you to understand is that in a study of Anxiety patients, the length of treatment was substantially shorter with EFT and substantially MORE EFFECTIVE than Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Pha
rmacology which has become typical practice for therapists, clinicians, and coaches.
Efficacy Studies in Energy Psychology
Anxiety CBT + Rx* EFT/Tapping
Typical # of Sessions N=190 9-20 (Avg = 11) 1-7 (Avg = 3)
Complete Remission of Symptoms N=5,000 51% 76%
*CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and Pharmacology
REF: (www.stressproject.org) Detailed studies https://www.energypsych.org/page/Research_Landing
Energy psychology (EP) modalities have been researched by more than 100 investigators in at least 7 countries. As of 2016, over 80 research studies have been published on EP modalities; out of these only one has not shown efficacy.
The results of these studies have been published in more than 15 different peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology, the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease and the APA journals Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training and Review of General Psychology. While many important questions remain to be answered, a great deal of groundwork is in place.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is currently under review by NREPP (the National Repertory of Evidence Based Practices and Procedures, a division of SAMHSA in the U.S.), and by NICE (the National Institute for Clinical Excellence) in the UK. Results of their reviews should be out soon.
There are over 400 identified forms of psychotherapy, most of which have little or no research to validate them. Energy psychology is both evidence-based and in the top 10% in terms of research for psychotherapy modalities. Visit energypsych.org/research to view and access a comprehensive list of studies.
How do you work with clients?
One on one coaching via video session.
When a person comes to me the pain has generally been with them a long time and they feel stuck. Sometimes it feels like an elephant sitting on their chest and they know if they don’t sort it out they will just E-X-P-L-O-D-E in some sort of poor behavior. Some have already exploded and now it’s time for damage control. For some people, their pain can feel like the nagging tooth ache that “they’ve learned to deal with” but they walk around either crying or biting everyone’s head off with the slightest offense. They know who they are and they’re ready for a change.
How long we work together is all about you. We look at what you’ve got in your tool kit, who you want to be and generally how you wish to feel about yourself. We start with your Sexual Self Concept, uncover hidden beliefs and vows, build in new beliefs for you want, practice new skills in the field and continue to improve until you’re consistently behaving and creating the life you want.
Oh, so you’re a therapist?
No, I’m not a therapist.
It’s a common choice for a Ph.D. to become a therapist, but a coaching platform fits my results-oriented personality and my need for freedom to choose how to create results my clients want. I will give you a safe space to process, I will push your buttons so that you dig for it, and I will hold you accountable to the goals you want for yourself. Personal growth can be gritty work, but it’s always worth the effort.
I am a doctor of philosophy, Ph.D. Human Sexuality, Certified Clinical Sex Coach and hold credentials in Clinical Sexology and a Bachelor of Science, Mechanical Engineering. I am a member of World Association of Sex Coaches (WASC) and Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP).
Why that may be of interest to you is that sex, sexually related behaviors and deep wounding around sex are predominate issues in problematic situations. Sex can be very difficult topic to discuss because it’s powerful and the shame that binds your beliefs about sex can make you feel like it’s impossible to overcome. I want you to know, because of my background in sex; you’re not going to throw me with what’s going on with you and you’re going to feel relieved when you finally feel heard.
Regarding my engineering degree; I’ve never outgrown the tactical skill sets I developed in that part of my life. I very much still relate to breaking things down, understanding what makes them work, optimizing them, and knowing that you don’t have a great or even good design unless it reproduces the results you want under varying circumstances REPEATEDLY over time. I approach your process and your growth in the same tactical way(s). I want you to win. I want you to feel and behave in the ways that are healthy for you and those around you.
What’s the next step?
If you like this approach, call me for a free 20 minute phone call. We will discuss what you need and if I can be of service to you.