Yesterday I spoke to a 57-year-old woman who admitted she was quite controlling, has trust issues with friends and lovers, her father was a sexual predator and she was raped by an early boyfriend. She married and had children as a young adult but sex has never been her thing and she wants to “feel” what everyone seems to be experiencing before she dies. “Dr. Oneal, is this even possible for a woman like me?”
She contacted me because she wanted to learn: how to ask for what she wants sexually; get what she wants and needs, and if at all possible get what she wants and needs with the partner she is currently with.
When I sat out to be a professional Sexologist, I never thought I’d become “that professional” who works with the gritty, hard, painful part of sex. I wanted to be the “fun sexual skill set teacher” whose sex tech is somehow superior, fun and changes lives.
The fact of the matter is, no-one gets to the finish lines of sexual confidence and competence without first going through the gates of Sexual Self-Concept ©. This is where your inner game for sex resides and it’s made from traumas never dealt with, stories never told, what you believe is true and possible for you, taboos, beliefs known to you and a great many more unknown beliefs that you hold subconsciously. All of these affect your sexual behavior.
“Thank you, I don’t have to feel guilty for wanting what I want and needing what I need. I feel confident I can be a good companion.” – Wife; 10 years, Business Owner, age 44.
“Now I’m showing up like a Hot Healthy Functional Woman rather than a Scared People Pleasing Safety Girl. My husband is showing up as a Functional Adult now too and it’s SOOOO HOT!” – Hot Healthy Functional Happy Monogamish Woman, Mother, Community Leader, age 45.
“I can see that the work you and I did seems to have created massive shifting in my relationship with my wife. (I didn’t blow up at her or cause a massive fight because I finally figured out where MY self-berating came from.) My feelings about my wife truly correlate to how I’m feeling about myself. I’ve never been willing to consider it until our work together. Thank you!” – Husband, Business Owner, age 38.
Having a healthy inner game for sex is vital. I can help you find yours, develop it and leave you with tools you’ll use for a lifetime. Contact me for a complimentary 20-minute phone call.