The best tips & products for confidence at Swinger Lifestyle Parties

How to feel more confident and sexy at a sex party

Looking for tips and products to feel more confident at Swinger Lifestyle Parties?

You’ve come to the right place…


Let’s be honest, those of us who play in the Lifestyle care about our image and performance— and I say there’s no shame in that! We are some of the healthiest and sexiest adults in our age groups, who take great pride in taking good care of ourselves.

Ever wonder how other Lifestylers do it?

I was invited to guest-host an episode of The Sexy Lifestyle Podcast where I interviewed  Dr. Julia Ward, MD to discuss the chemical and behavior hacks Swingers are using to feel, look, and perform their best at Lifestyle events!

In this podcast episode, we discussed A LOT of different products, supplements, and best practices that people use in the Swinger Lifestyle to uplevel their mental, emotional, physical, and sexual confidence. In recording this episode, we’ve identified the top “hacks” and separated them into categories to support you Before, During, and After your Lifestyle event! 

This blog post provides you with an overview of the categories we identified. For all of the juicy details and specific product recommendations, download the FREE comprehensive guide

Before the Party

What do YOU need to support yourself? Prior to your event, give some conscious thought to what you need— mentally, physically, and emotionally— to get an edge and support your confidence for the upcoming event. When you and your partner have thoughtfully considered these questions and taken steps to make them happen prior to your event, you are well on your way to having a great time AND able to go the distance. 

Prepare your look! What makes you feel sexy and confident? Everyone has their own thing, so consider what you need in order to look and feel your best. If thick hair and tan skin are a part of your “confidence uniform,” we’ve provided the top suggestions in the guide.

Need a performance-enhancing prescription?  Many people in the Lifestyle seek out assistance on this front. We don’t go into detail in this blog post but we’ve got some great suggestions for you to discuss with your doctor in the guide (Viagra is such old news— you won’t see it on this list).

Practice makes perfect! Practicing what you can prior to your event brings a lot more ease and confidence once you enter those highly stimulating and potentially distracting settings. Here are two key areas we suggest you rehearse…

  • Know how your body responds. Test out and get familiar with any substances, prescriptions, or supplements you plan to take. Know your body and how it responds prior to the event to prevent play-time blunders and embarrassment.
  • Practice your skills! I’m sure you have a few ideas in mind 😘 Want to do your best at the event? Practice any sexy skillsets now for mastery in the wild.

During the Party

Pack your Play Bag!  Be sure to bring everything you’ve now learned you need.  When you’ve got the right tools for the job, you can focus on making your best sexual art, and epic memories.

Substances. Oh, you bet we talk about substances!  Both prescription and “street” to help you set the mood and enhance your performance. Nothing off the table.  Street drugs, things that help bad trips, and what can you do, beyond the pill for men’s erections.

Hydration. If you’re drinking alcohol, working up a sweat, or losing lots of bodily fluids (😘), you want to be sure you are replenishing what you are losing. The guide provides our favorite hydration hacks— what do you use to stay hydrated?

Lube! Male or female, you’re likely in for a lot of traffic, so the right lube will help you go the distance. What do YOU need in a lube? All-natural? Without sugar (for those prone to yeast infections & BV)?Silicon and “back door” safe? We’ve provided our favorite two products, but do some research based on your needs!

After the Party

Post-party letdown.  Have you ever noticed yourself feeling extra down or moody after events? Well, now you never again have to wonder why AND you can know how to better support yourself to mitigate the let-down. In short, Swinger Lifestyle events are a serotonin rush. Especially if you’ve added fuel to that ride by using substances, you’re in a serotonin dip— and it feels like an emotional hangover.  You might feel this at some point during your event and you’re nearly certain to feel it when you’re back home in “Vanilla” life.  We’ve got hacks to help you, your brain, and your chemistry in the guide! (I’m now using them when I’m under pressure and having a rough day.)

Take care of your pleasure park. You’ve likely experienced a lot of traffic down under, so what do you need to get back in top shape? Ladies, mind your vaginal Ph balance, urinary tract, and STI’s (see the guide for product suggestions). Men, keep an eye out for bruising, chafing, and STI’s.

What do you need to prepare for your next event?

This blog post serves as a basic overview of the podcast, while the comprehensive guide includes greater detail on over 40 science-based tips and specific product recommendations.  If you play in the Swinger Lifestyle, there is something in this guide for you. 

Showing up fully ready (mentally, emotionally, physically, and sexually) for your events goes a long way to sustaining your confidence throughout your whole experience. Lifestyle events are expensive, use these hacks to help ensure your investment.

This is our guide, but everyone is unique… What do YOU need to feel confident and sexy?


Help out your fellow Lifestylers— share some of YOUR top tips and hacks in the comments below!

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Cari Oneal

I help individuals become sexually confident and show them how to bring that energy into everything else they do. Shoot me a message, introduce yourself, and tell me what sort of information you want to learn about!

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